The Four Bs of Balance

Posted by on Nov 30, 2010 | 0 comments

When my pals and I were in our twenties, I don’t remember worrying much about finding balance in our lives. We worked hard, played hard, stayed up late and damn the consequences. But now as a mid-career professionals, many of us with children, I find we are all talking about it, and I also hear it from my clients. We know that imbalance is inherently unstable and unsustainable, but it can be hard to envision a different way. So what is balance, and how can we achieve it? Stand on one foot and you’ll see that balance is not static. You wobble and waver. Even if you manage to stand...

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Happiness vs. Pleasure

Posted by on Sep 12, 2010 | 0 comments

I have a confession to make: I didn’t actually feel very good at the gym on Saturday. My triathlon training session  — especially my somewhat labored running — was not pleasant. It didn’t actually hurt, but it was hard work for me. I thought of the blog I had posted just the evening before and felt a fraud for having blithely promised that I would be happy at the gym the next day. Would a passer-by think I looked happy? Probably not. Red-faced, perhaps even grimly determined … yes. But happy? Really? The answer was yes.  Because happiness and pleasure are not...

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The Measure of a Mother

Posted by on Jun 27, 2010 | 0 comments

I’m about to do something very un-coach-like. I’m going to suggest that you lower your standards. As a coach, I always encourage my clients to dream big, to set ambitious goals and not be bounded by what seems reasonably achievable. Succeed or fail, you’re usually better off aiming high than shooting for the middle and not knowing what heights might have been possible. The risk – of failure or disappointment – is vastly outweighed by the benefit of stretching beyond our comfort zone. But what about when we set unachievable standards and then flog ourselves as unworthy?...

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Getting to 50/50

Posted by on Apr 14, 2010 | 0 comments

  How many women and men in their 30s and 40s thought they were going to have an “equal partnership” marriage and then found that it was not as easy as they thought, especially once kids entered the picture? Finding balance in your marriage can be tricky, especially given the many subtle and not-so-subtle pressures on women to carry most of the burden on the home front and the concomitant pressure on their partners to provide. Getting to 50/50 How Working Couples Can Have It All by Sharing It All is a great resource for couples grappling with the daily reality of caring for...

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Jack Welch is Right

Posted by on Aug 27, 2009 | 0 comments

  “There’s no such thing as work-life balance,” says former GE CEO Jack Welch, throwing cold water on what so many American professionals aspire to – having it all. “There are work-life choices, and you make them, and they have consequences.” Well, much as it pains me to admit it, I believe that Jack is right about choices. Part of being a grown-up is making choices and taking responsibility for their consequences. And yes, if you want to be the CEO of a giant corporation you may find, like thrice-married Welch, that other...

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